5 Relationship Traditions That Should Be Optional

Despite what we may imagine, all the relationship goals in the world can’t save us from a situation that does not fit who we are. What’s most important in relationships is that we’re staying true to ourselves and along the way – making our own traditions. Here are a few relationship standards that you should feel free to opt out of.

Waiting For Him To Make The First Move

Your eyes meet across a crowded room and a connection is made. Now what? How about instead of waiting for him to make his way over, you meet him halfway and buy hima drink? Ladies shouldn’t be afraid to go after what they want. Long gone are the expectations of the docile woman awaiting a man’s precious graces. Take charge, there will be plenty of time later to let him take the wheel.

Changing Your Last Name

I recently attended a wedding where the bride and groom compromised on a new last name for the both of them. Instead of the woman changing her identity to match his – they both created a new legacy to mark their union by mutually changing last names. Who says you have to abide by silly old ideals about marital identity? Change it up and make new traditions together.

Waiting to Have Sex

The idea that a relationship that is sparked by an immediate sexual connection will die young is completely unfounded. What makes the most sense can vary from person to person. Jumping in to bed (or staying out of it entirely) should be about what you want, how you feel and what the vibe is like. Sex can be a distracting hinderance for some people and for others – the perfect motivator.

Letting Him Buy

This debate is always a heated one at the Dessert & Discussion events. Should the man pay? Should you go dutch? How about we remove the word “should” and let the chips fall where they may. Whatever you decide – make it clear at the date’s inception. Tell him you want to go half on dinner or go dutch on a movie if you don’t want him to carry the financial weight of the night’s festivities. Be mindful of not coming off as too guarded or overbearing and stay open to the man who (was raised right) and wouldn’t dare let you touch the dinner bill.

Skip The Bling Bling

Diamonds are a girl’s best friend, huh? How about amethyst, jade or turquoise? What about a ring tattoo? What about no ring at all? If diamonds aren’t your thing, you don’t have to subscribe to them as the marital standard. Whether it’s for your wedding day or your anniversary day – let your personality (not empty and mindless traditions) be your guide.

What relationship traditions do you think
should be tossed out in 2017?

6 Do's and Don'ts For The First Date

According to the recent surveys, 27% of adults are using online dating as their main source of romantic socializing. Which means there are a lot of people out there who might be going on an awkward first date. Without the setting of a bar or a networking event to set the tone between you, a first date after an online encounter can feel a bit like jumping into the deep end without any lead up. Here are a few tips to help you get through that first date after it goes down in the DMs.

Do Be On Time

It’s more than just common courtesy to arrive on time, if not a few minutes early. It’s also a really quick way to set the right tone. Someone took time out of their day to get ready and spend time with you – the very least you can do is let them know the meeting was equally important to you. Arriving late? Send a warning text and offer to buy the first drink as an apology. Even if you were planning on paying (hey, fellas) let them know you aren’t ok with lateness either.

Don’t Be a Picky Eater

This one is mainly for the ladies, since we tend to downshift our appetites during first dates. If you have food preferences that pertain to your health or comfort, make suggestions for dining spots before the date is set. But picking at a meal that you ordered send the message that you’re hard to please and can’t make the best of things. Roll with it and focus on the main course – the person in front of you.

Do Use Your Manners

Remember to say “please” and “thank you”. Not just to your date, but to the wait staff, the uber driver, the people you interact with. If this isn’t already a part of your personality, you may notice people retract a bit from you in social scenarios. Being polite and inviting to those around you sets people at ease.

Don’t Grab The Check

These days, in the age of the independent self-made boss (be you a man or woman), picking up the check may or may not be a sensitive topic for people. Decide before the date if you’re going dutch, or splitting the bill so you can avoid the awkward check grab at the end of the night. If he wants to pay, let him. If she offers to go dutch, let her. Battle it out later, when the relationship is established.  

Do Ask Questions

The dating period is also the discovery period. This is when every silly, random and obvious questions can be asked under the guise of newness. Where are you from, what do your parents do, why did your last relationship end (a really sneaky way to find out what they’re looking for in a man or woman). Now is your chance to be a little invasive. Steer clear of questions that might trigger an argument (politics are a third date conversation) and pick up on queues that they don’t want to answer something. Keep it light and use your best listening skills.

Don’t Check Your Phone

Picking up your phone for emails, tweets and texts is fastest way to inspire someone to lock you into the friend zone. If the date is boring and not going as you imagined, you can still be kind enough to finish it without being rude or overly passive. If the date is going well, then whatever is happening on the interwebs can wait until after. Consider date nights a chance to unplug a little. Keep the phone on vibrate and put it away.