Do Real Men Plan Weddings?


When it comes to love I’ve seen a lot and have heard even more. That is until this past weekend when I attended my friend’s wedding in the ‘Nasty Nati’.  

It was a beautiful ceremony made even more beautiful by the fact that the groom planned the entire wedding and reception festivities. Between the joy and sheer elation that my girl had found someone to share her life with I couldn’t help but be impressed by the man responsible for the experience. Now, my future husband can rest assured that simply showing up to my own wedding does not appeal to me. But if you are the kind of woman who enjoys releasing the wheel a bit – just know taking this route could lead to extreme relaxation for the bride.

The bride and groom.

The bride and groom.

All night, we would ask my dear freshly married friend about the details of her own wedding and she didn’t have a clue about a single thing. It was clear, during the festivities, that the wedding was planned by a man. There was absolutely no pomp and for the sake of pomp. It was incredibly economical and efficient, in spite of being hosted at 21c – a swanky downtown hotel that doubles as an art museum.

My takeaway was that men and women may think differently but ultimately want the same things – love, peace and happiness. Men are typically big-picture, few-details kind of people.  

This wedding did not break from that particular stereotype. Bride – check; groom – check;  minister – check.  The rose petals, the containers of floating candles, the guests, these were are all extras.

Of course, the reception followed the same line of traditional guy logic. Food, drinks  and music – what else is really needed to celebrate two people in love? It reminded me of being in college when the guys would host bar-b-ques. We could count on the presence of meat, charcoal, drinks and bread. Plates, cups, napkins – these were unnecessary options.

This shindig was lacking some traditional frills. Garter toss, what’s that? Bouquet toss? Why would we throw these lovely flowers? In fact in the absence of champagne toasts,and cake cutting I began to wonder how they became traditions in the first place. We partied the night away and love was in the air – this was all that mattered. My conclusion was that only real men can plan weddings and this was an exceptionally real man. Not only did he plan the wedding, but he changed his last name for her. So much for hyper-masculine traditions, I guess.

The moral of this inside out love story is that love, in fact is not a wedding planner and neither are most guys. But love is a guy’s willingness to give it a try. And love is also, most definitely, a woman who trusts him enough to do so.

What’s one wedding tradition you think
should get the boot?

5 Relationship Traditions That Should Be Optional


Despite what we may imagine, all the relationship goals in the world can’t save us from a situation that does not fit who we are. What’s most important in relationships is that we’re staying true to ourselves and along the way – making our own traditions. Here are a few relationship standards that you should feel free to opt out of.

Waiting For Him To Make The First Move

Your eyes meet across a crowded room and a connection is made. Now what? How about instead of waiting for him to make his way over, you meet him halfway and buy hima drink? Ladies shouldn’t be afraid to go after what they want. Long gone are the expectations of the docile woman awaiting a man’s precious graces. Take charge, there will be plenty of time later to let him take the wheel.

Changing Your Last Name

I recently attended a wedding where the bride and groom compromised on a new last name for the both of them. Instead of the woman changing her identity to match his – they both created a new legacy to mark their union by mutually changing last names. Who says you have to abide by silly old ideals about marital identity? Change it up and make new traditions together.

Waiting to Have Sex

The idea that a relationship that is sparked by an immediate sexual connection will die young is completely unfounded. What makes the most sense can vary from person to person. Jumping in to bed (or staying out of it entirely) should be about what you want, how you feel and what the vibe is like. Sex can be a distracting hinderance for some people and for others – the perfect motivator.

Letting Him Buy

This debate is always a heated one at the Dessert & Discussion events. Should the man pay? Should you go dutch? How about we remove the word “should” and let the chips fall where they may. Whatever you decide – make it clear at the date’s inception. Tell him you want to go half on dinner or go dutch on a movie if you don’t want him to carry the financial weight of the night’s festivities. Be mindful of not coming off as too guarded or overbearing and stay open to the man who (was raised right) and wouldn’t dare let you touch the dinner bill.

Skip The Bling Bling

Diamonds are a girl’s best friend, huh? How about amethyst, jade or turquoise? What about a ring tattoo? What about no ring at all? If diamonds aren’t your thing, you don’t have to subscribe to them as the marital standard. Whether it’s for your wedding day or your anniversary day – let your personality (not empty and mindless traditions) be your guide.

What relationship traditions do you think
should be tossed out in 2017?