How to Tell if He is Playing Games

Getting to know someone is already filled with many emotions! There’s the excitement of new, the fun and flirty spirit that comes out naturally as you discover how much you have in common with his representative. But at some point usually right after you settle on favorite foods and righteous before the 4th date you begin to wonder whether or not this relationship could go to the altar. Or is he just being agreeable and chilvarous to get to a known horizontal ending. He texts and talks and then goes radio silent. Then you start to wonder is he really busy or is he playing games. Here’s 3 ways you can tell if he has potential or nah…

Words and Actions Don’t Match

Does he make grand promises with his mouth but his actions always seem to fall short? Schedules get crazy for sure when two busy people are trying to connect but if he is always SAYING he wants to see you and you have made it clear you want to see him too but plans are NEVER made he is probably playing games! Throw out some dates and times that you know you will be free if he doesn’t take it forward from there then move on. He may be playing games.

More Surface than Substance

Initial getting-to-know you conversations can easily stay at the surface level but at some point you and your new beau will need to get deeper. Maybe not sharing your deepest darkest secrets but definitely conversations beyond your favorite color. Admittedly when trying to figure out what to say to keep the conversation interesting but not scare him away can feel Which can be awkward at times. You already know how we feel about playing emotional games but real games can help here! You can tell a whole lot about a person when you play an actual game with them. Strategy games are a great way to get to know how someone thinks. Provocative conversation games like “The War On Love” spark real, relevant and revealing discussions. It is a fun way to get below the surface and start talking about things that are truly important when it comes to love, sex and relationship.

Disappearing and Reappearing Acts

Magicians are cool except when you are attempting to date a guy who has the disappearing act down. You are going along just fine and without warning he stops calling or texting. You go into the initial panic of is he okay, did something happen, and just when you convince yourself that it’s him not you. Out of the blue you get that dreaded “WYD” text. Huh? WTH? He offers no explanation and worst attempts to reconvene the conversation as if you had just spoke to him an hour ago. It really is NOT you it’s HIM. Feel free to ask him about the disappearance and if his admission doesn’t involve a plausible emergency or something that disconnected him from the grid - he may be playing games! Keep it moving there are plenty of men who only play games that come in a package.

How can you tell if someone is playing games?

I Didn’t ‘Lose’ My Virginity: A Short Story

With so much emphasis being placed on the “purity” of a woman, I was drawn to the idea of being a virgin early on. Couple that with the fact that I thought babies ruined your life by preventing you from fulfilling your hopes and dreams. At least that’s the message I took away from the women around me who would urge me not to get pregnant, live my life before I got married or had children. Or, maybe it was the failed attempt of my mother to arbitrarily put me on birth control at the age of 16 because she wanted me to get out of high school without getting knocked up like a “fast-tail” girl. But, I refused the idea of birth control, and was mad because my mother didn’t bother to ask me what my sexual plans were, instead she assumed.  

I had actually found another form a birth control around that same time - religion. I had accepted Christ as my savior, learned very early in my journey that fornication was a sin, and since I was a rule-follower by nature, this notion of virginity until matrimony was the most righteous form of birth-control imaginable. It kept me unbothered all through college, to my first job, several career related moves and made for a perfect and way to dismiss a man I wasn’t interested in. After a few dates, I would righteously make it clear that I was going to be avoiding the fast-track to hell by abstaining until marriage. Of course, as a result guys would stop calling. I later realized the sudden drop in interest was probably not because I was a virgin, but because my announcement of it was done in a way that had already convicted them of the “men only want one thing” crime.

Fast forward to 33. By then I no longer seemed to have a sufficient answer for the, “why are you a virgin” question. Graduations were all behind me, and I now realized that God probably wouldn’t love me any less if I was not, nor was it a ticket to the altar. I was starting to use it as a weapon and a judgement seat. From up there on my ledge of sexual purity I could look down upon myself at my human desires and suppressed sexuality. I could easily pass judgement on those who seemed to be moved by coitus, but why?  

One night, I knowingly decided to test God’s love for me beyond my perceived notion of “holy sex”. I wanted to see what blessings would be removed for handing over my platinum virgin card. I thought about it and decided I wanted to be free from that prison, I had created the need to stand guard of my own virginity. So, with a well timed “wyd” text, I decided to forego the angelic host I had imagined would be at my bed posts on my wedding night. Nothing spectacular about the experience can be recalled, except the fact that the pressure was suddenly gone. I was thankful for the experience despite how unceremoniously it all came to fruition. I woke up the next morning with one realization that I hadn’t actually even ‘lost’ anything.